I have been of voting age for nine years now and while I did vote in the first election I was eligible for, I have never considered myself politically active. Hell, I was never even remotely interested. I had never read the newspapers or watched the news or followed a campaign trail. I consider politics a dirty game I wished to have no part of, and I looked at our government as a great disappointment. I was embarrassed by the way my country was run and I turned my back on it. I was one of those kids who said, "how can I possibly make a difference?". I felt powerless, disgusted and ignorant.

I remember someone asking me once if I was a democrat or a republican, to which I honestly answered, "I really don't know - I don't even know the difference". I remember asking my father how you knew which party you belonged to and he explained to me about platforms. He tried to convey, to a very confused and stubborn kid, the different views of each parties to which I asked, "what if you believe some of both? Does that mean you're neither, or a hypocrite?" I didn't get a very satisfying answer. I was more confused than ever and rather than continue my search for insight, I turned my back once again.

When I was in college I dated our student body President for a while. He was also founder of the Young Republicans on campus. He was very politically active, both at school as well as on a national level. I didn't get much further with him than I did with my father. I asked questions I never got satisfactory answers to and he spent a lot of time shaking his head and trying to get me to see things his way. No one ever seemed interested in helping me see things my way.

As I got older, this lack of participation on my part got harder to deal with. The subject of politics would come up at a cocktail party or at the office and I would make some grand-sweeping ignorant statement and walk away looking like an idiot. I laughed at people who called themselves die hard anything's - I mean, how could anyone believe whole heartedly all of what these parties claim? I began to wonder how people justified their political name tags and how they came to terms with their place in our political arena.

I would occasionally hear statements like, "I come from a long line of Republicans, how could I be anything else?" These kind of comments made me nauseous. They fell into the same category as those people who say "Why? I'm Catholic because my parents are Catholic, and my grandparents before them. It’s the way I was raised." The same questions arose in my mind, "Don't these people have any original thought?" "But what do THEY believe?"

Politicians do not have a very noble reputation with Americans, yet we continue to elect them to lead our country and we entrust them with our lives, our future, and our safety. Why is that? They lie and we believe it. They dodge questions and we stop asking. They smile and we smile back. Then we turn our heads and regard them as sleazy individuals. If we are not busy trashing our current leaders, we're enthralled with glorifying those of the past. It is all very confusing to me. Incidentally, I have the same problem with lawyers. When was the last time you heard someone give a favorable character reference for an attorney. But yet, if you get into trouble and your life is at stake, who do you call? Your lawyer! Why is this country so determined to hand our destiny over to people we don't trust?

Anyway, I continued to ignore the situation and exist in my own little private a-political world until two years ago when my brother-in-law was shipped to Saudi Arabia with the USMC. I had not been raised in a military environment and this was a whole new world to me. For Christ's sake we were going to WAR and my brother was going there to fight for us and our country. He was one of the hundreds of thousands of Americans who was willing to put his life on the line for his country. All of a sudden I realized there must be more to this patriot thing than I realized. I was glued to my radio for months. At night my husband I watched the news reports in our living room; the bombing, the destruction, the loyalty. For the first time I sat up and paid attention to the President when he spoke. This world that I had so casually ignored for 26 years under the disguise that it had no effect on me, was suddenly the center of my existence. This mattered. The moves and decisions of people in office directly affected me. And these were people I had had taken zero part in electing. I didn't know how they felt about anything. I didn't even know where Saudi Arabia was on a map. My ignorance was overwhelming, as was my guilt.

The war ended and my brother-in-law returned safe and sound to his family. I was shaken, but aware. I knew then that I had to get involved - this was my life and my family's life and the life of my country that I had been turning my back on all these years. 

Where does one start? I had no idea. I managed to put it off for a time, floundering on what to do first and doing nothing, until last spring when my best friend announced she was going to law school and was considering politics as her field of practice. "Danger Will Robinson!" All of my conditioned warning lights went off simultaneously. A lawyer and a politician? My best friend? What was a girl to do? In the same conversation she asked me what I thought about the ensuing election and for a minute I was speechless. I casually handed out my usual repertoire about not really following these sorts of things and my inability as one person to make a difference in our government. Instead of let-ting me off the hook, as most had done so graciously, she challenged me to get involved. She asked me, if I couldn't do it for myself, to do it for her, and if not for her, for our future children. She challenged me to get informed and execute my right as an American to participate in our government. I accepted.

The place to start, I discovered, was to admit my own ignorance and face the fact that I was not "powerless" at all. This country was founded on the voice of the people and I am a people and my voice counts. I am a citizen of the United States of America and I owe it to myself, my country and future generations to be an informed participant of our destiny. I started reading and listening. I watched speeches and conventions. I found it to be a little like solving a jigsaw puzzle. There were all these pieces that looked alike and yet none of them seemed to fit. Everyone was talking about concepts I had no understanding of; foreign relations, trade regulations, deficits, etc. There was more to learn than I ever imagined. This involvement thing was mind boggling! 

The one issue I do feel strongly about is abortion, so I decided to begin there. I believe with all of my heart that a woman deserves the right to determine the fate of her own body - it is the only thing in life that is truly our own. So that headed me in the direction of the Democrats. I became involved with the NARAL and even wrote letters to my congressmen and senators. I had found a place to begin my political education. However, unlike the platforms, abortion for me is more than just pro-choice vs. pro-life. I do not believe that making abortion legal or illegal will solve the very obvious problems surrounding this issue. I feel the central issue here is education and that turned my head toward the Republicans. I watched their convention for a short period of time, long enough to hear Pat Buchanan speak. It was during his monologue that I learned of more issues that were important to me, such as human rights.

As far as I can see, the only requirement for eligibility of human rights is that one is in-deed a human. That means women humans, black humans, and gay humans. In my opinion, this country has at least one serious problem, it is overlooking a very crucial concept to its existence; "All for one and one for all". We have divided ourselves in factions and parts that battle against one another for superiority, while overlooking our strongest asset; we are each of member of one race - the human race. Hasn't anyone ever heard that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts? If each of us could simply remember that, maybe we could make some real progress. I do realize that this problem is not quite as simple as all this, but we have to start somewhere for it is developing into one of our greatest weaknesses and at the risk of sounding too cliché, "a chain is only as strong as its weakest link". We should use our diversity as a strength and united we could stand tallest, divided we will undoubtedly fall.

Unity brings us to the next campaign issue of importance to me and that is this deficit thing. Most Americans cannot even comprehend 4 trillion dollars - how may zeros is that anyway? And while we are all eager and anxious to point fingers of blame, how many of us are willing to stand up and help resolve the problem and what is the most efficient way to do that? Most likely we're looking at tax increases and that really should not come as a shock to Americans. Besides, if it works, bring on the taxes!

The main problem I have found since entering this political arena is that our candidates make everything seem so complicated. It simply cannot be that difficult. The more red tape they wrap around the issues, the harder it becomes for the average American to differentiate the problems from the proposed solutions. We almost need an interpreter. 

Then along came the first debate of the '92 Vote where everything was supposed to be-come clear. Here we are presented with three candidates: The Independent Candidate, Ross Perot; a very wealthy, extremely competent in business, no nonsense, for the people kind of candidate. The man has no political experience per se and he aligns himself with the average American and yet, he is so far from average it's kind of comical. He presents us with the idea that if indeed he does get elected and goes to Washington, he can and will solve all of our problems - but you as an American have to get him there and then you're going to have to continue to help him.

The Democratic Candidate, Bill Clinton; this is a well educated, good looking, good old southern boy who believes it is time for change. He wants to change everything! He has had no military experience, but highly respects those who do. He knows little about foreign policy, but neither do the rest of us. He projects himself as an honest, hard working, grass roots catalyst for change. He tells us over and over during the first de-bate what he thinks this country doesn’t need - more trickle down economics. What kind of things does he think we do need I wonder? 

The Republican Candidate, our current leader, George Bush; here is a guy who has made some mistakes over the years and is now admitting them, however cannot bring himself to admit the extent of the problems here on the home front. He appears weak and tired. He too tells us what we don't need - tax and spend! He tried to assure his voters that should they reelect him, they could expect to see the changes they've been promised. Apparently, he's been just getting warmed up the past few years.

All three of our illustrious candidates told us they value unity, family values, education, lowering the deficit, restructuring our nation's health care services, and creating more jobs. So basically what you had was three grown bears dancing on big red balls in a three ring circus. I've heard several polls quoted, all with different winners of that de-bate. They were all still walking in the end, so I guess it's fair to say they each won. Perot probably influenced some of the undecided. He has a very practical and businesslike approach to these issues, which I believe appeals to numerous voters. I doubt Clinton did much to either help or hurt his position, with the possible exception of his academy award like closing statement. And President Bush did the best that could be expected. He appealed to the honest, fair, and loyal voters in his audience and tried to reassure them one last time.

It will be interesting to watch these three under glass for the next few weeks until the election. After that day, what happens is anyone's guess. However, I can guarantee you that I will go to the poles next month and execute my right to vote. I no longer feel powerless in this system. I have a voice and in this country, that still assures you a piece of the power, as long as you choose to speak it. And while I may still be a tad confused about the whole picture, I am less disgusted than before and much more willing to do my share. I am informed and participating. I am an American and very proud of the rights that fact affords me.